Home NewsLetter
Subscribe to our monthly newsletter
UNSUBSCRIBE
Treatment:
Being aware and open discussions about all these concerns above should help to prevent self perpetuating problems.
Let's look at some other suggestions for coping with what seems to be an impossible situation:
Both partners should understand the physical and emotional changes that occur
and make every effort to maintain intimacy to the maximum level of comfort for each of you until your response returns, in order to avoid a dysfunction developing.
It is important to have private time together to enjoy leisure and physical contact.
Get a baby sitter or trusted friend or relative to care for baby for a while.
Cuddle and kiss and caress one another as if you were courting and let
your partner know how you are feeling, and listen carefully to his feelings as well.
Prioritize housework- it does not have to be perfectly clean or meals perfectly cooked.
Eat properly, and exercise with your baby-walking or even dancing!
Dress properly and put on make up, - don't fall into to the 'sloppy trap' when you don't feel good about your appearance, and then can't believe that your partner does either. Let go of your pre pregnancy body and accept your new body even with stretch marks.
Believe it when he tells you he still loves your body.
Let your partner know that you really need and appreciate his help in the house, and with the baby and shopping, and discuss with him what he will be able and happy to do to help. This applies especially if you are working as well. If he does not get involved, be sure to tell him and ask for specific
help, as he may not think of it, and you would become increasingly angry- and that is a great passion killer.
Provided these difficulties are anticipated, and you recognize that they are
temporary then this should prevent problems arising, and lead to better understanding and closeness rather than resentment and withdrawal, so
that you can both deal with the problems and prevent misery and save the
need for long term therapy.
Another passion killer is having your baby in the bed. Avoid this early on as it is a difficult habit to break later.
Get help whenever possible, and in that time rest, or have your hair done, or make a date with your friends or work colleagues. It is easy to feel resentful that your partner's life continues as before while yours has changed completely but it is well worth it as you will appreciate once this period of 'total involvement' is over!!
Some couples need specialized help. It does not mean that you have failed but that you recognize how important your relationship is, and are prepared to do something about it, so seek professional help if you feel that things are not getting better, relationship counselling or sex therapy should successfully resolve your problems.
