Summary
How Relationship Problems Can Cause Sexual Dysfunction
How Sexual Problems Can Impact a Relationship
Reasons For Having Sex
References
RELATIONSHIPS AND
SEXUAL PROBLEMS
SEXUAL PROBLEMS
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How sexual problems can impact a relationship :
One fifth to one third of the population complains of sexual dissatisfaction or dysfunction at some time [1]. The sexual interaction is central to many couples’ intimate relationships. Misunderstandings can easily arise when the physical and emotional aspects of sexual arousal are out of phase between partners. For example a man might find his partner particularly desirable when she/he is angry with him, and become aroused. His partner’s anger may prevent her/him from becoming aroused and cause her/him to reject the man, resulting in him feeling rejected and his partner feeling guilty- all negative and anti-erotic factors in a relationship. Struggle for domination often results in bickering, and may lead to sexual sabotage such as: rows before anticipated sex, delaying tactics, making oneself repulsive, and frustrating the partner’s desires. Sex may be used as a weapon where one partner [consciously or subconsciously] forgoes sexual pleasure rather than give satisfaction to the ‘enemy’ who sometimes has to trade ‘good behaviour for sexual favours.
Intimacy is strongly related to relationship satisfaction.
Sexual problems that lead to lack of physical contact may cause the individual to feel that he/she is no longer attractive or desired, and this affects self esteem and body image - which further impairs sexual function and then adversely affects the relationship.
Sexual problems lead to withdrawal, anger, resentment, feelings of rejection and guilt, and all of these impair the relationship leading to snide remarks, taunting, hostility, and this can lead to a vicious circle where the atmosphere is so unpleasant that intimate contact becomes impossible.
It becomes the battleground where the winner loses!
Anger is an anti- erotic emotion.
Foreplay, lovemaking and ‘after play’ are wonderful for both partners when feelings are positive and caring, but when there is tension, hostility or resentment, ‘power play’ can block all positive feelings. In order to break the vicious circle you will both need to recognize and resolve all these negative feelings and the effect they are having on your relationship and on your sexual function.
It may be helpful for you and your partner to discuss with each other the reasons why you have [or used to have] sex, and thus gain perspective on this aspect of your loving [See: Reasons for having sex]