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Orgasm is the peak of sexual response, a total body response of intense pleasure and physical release from the congestion in the genitals and muscle tension following sexual stimulation. The intensity of orgasm is greater with oral and manual [with fingers] stimulation, and with a vibrator than with intercourse, but most women enjoy the intimacy of intercourse. 70% of women require direct clitoral stimulation before, during or after intercourse in order to orgasm, and although some consider that this is ‘not proper’ it is not a dysfunction and is ‘normal’ [1].
During orgasm: women experience involuntary thrusting of the pelvis, a feeling of suspension [being out of control, loss of awareness, ‘being outside themselves’], stiffening of the body, calling out, very rapid breathing, a deep throbbing, rhythmic pulsing sensations in the pelvis and intense sensual feelings spreading from the genitals throughout the body. This is followed by ‘resolution’- a calm feeling of wellbeing, release of tension, contentment, tenderness and a desire to be close to her partner and a sense of relaxation and tiredness.
Some women experience a different sensation during orgasm – more internal, deeper and fuller and more overwhelming – from direct stimulation or stimulation from thrusting during intercourse of the ‘G spot’. This is said to be located on the front wall of the vagina about 3 cm from the entrance to the vagina, and some of these women experience ejaculation of about 3-15 ml. of whitish odourless fluid with orgasm.
Most women experience a ‘blended ‘orgasm combining the clitoral and ‘G spot’ sensations.
90% of women can experience orgasms with adequate stimulation, but 10% have difficulty despite intense arousal. Only 7% of women have orgasms each time they have sex, and it is considered average for women to experience orgasm on 50% or more of sexual encounters. 14% of women can have multiple orgasms if the stimulation is continued after the first one. Some women are quite happy if they make love and do not have an orgasm, and do not find it necessary to have an orgasm on each occasion for sexual satisfaction [2].
Intimacy and sexual pleasure do not depend on orgasms.
Timing: with masturbation women take about 3-4 minutes to reach orgasm and during intercourse it generally takes about 13 minutes [1] [See: Differences in Male and Female Responses]
Orgasms can occur: with masturbation, during sleep [the woman may be woken by the sensations of throbbing in her pelvis], and in some women during breast feeding [1] or with fantasy.
Women cannot will an orgasm, but orgasms can be inhibited by many factors- mostly psychological, and some medications [particularly anti-depressants]
The inhibition or absence of orgasm is called orgasmic dysfunction or anorgasmia. The orgasmic reflex is also vulnerable to negative feelings of anxiety, conflict, and guilt, and anxiety about performance [1].
Treatment is available and effective, so if this is your problem discuss it with your doctor and if necessary ask for a referral to a sex therapist or psychologist who deals with sexual problems.
