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Children face many issues:

  1. Ignorance and taboos: parents need to use proper names for body parts, and answer questions as they are asked- but always check to see what level the child is at by saying “What do you think it means?”
  2. Molestation, incest and abuse: parents should know that it would probably not be a stranger who could sexually molest their child, but someone who they know. Children should be given the message that their bodies are their own and private, and that they do have a say over what type of touching they receive, so that they have some control in a situation if they are vulnerable to abuse. They need to understand that they should never keep a secret from their mother, and that if anyone does anything that makes them feel uncomfortable or afraid, or touches them on places [where they wear their bathing costume] that make them feel uneasy, they must say “no you can’t do that”, and run away, and tell their mother, teacher, doctor or religious leader. Grandfather, father, brother, step-father to girl-child incest are all common, and may continue for years. Gentleness and trust between them encourages the child to be cooperative, and most girls don’t realise that the activity is wrong and then they are trapped into silence once she becomes aware that they do not have the right to do this to her, and she fears that she will be blamed or not believed or that it may disrupt the family if it comes out. Incest does not always scar the victim emotionally, but the shame, guilt, revulsion and anger often does more harm than the sexual acts. In these cases, most girls will suffer psychosexual problems later in life, and it is in this respect that incest appears to do the most damage- victims may become promiscuous, anti-social, depressive, attempt suicide, develop desire dysfunction or sexual aversion or vaginismus [See: Sexual Pain Disorders in Women].
  3. Peer pressure: children can be nasty and cruel and affect self esteem and body image, and they need support from their family to prevent this becoming harmful. It becomes very important for children to be ‘in’ with the crowd and it becomes very hurtful when they are left out and it is important that they do not compromise their values in order to be ‘with it’.
  4. Sex play: this is normal, but they must understand that no object should be inserted into any orifice whatever [nose, ears, mouth, anus or vagina] as it can be harmful and hurt. When there is a difference in age of more than 4 years then sex play may not be innocent discovery, and must be supervised or prevented.
  5. Masturbation: should be acknowledged as pleasurable, but private [see masturbation]

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