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The following list [1] gives a general overview of factors that influence one’s attitude to sexuality and which may affect sexual function positively or negatively:

  1. Physical and emotional health or disease
  2. Quality of the relationship
  3. Hormonal balance,
  4. Faulty attitudes to sex, inhibitions, false expectations
  5. Family, social, cultural, and religious backgrounds
  6. Mutual fulfillment of the desire for children
  7. Sexual orientation
  8. Acceptability of sexual activity to both partners
  9. Initial sexual awareness and first sexual experience
  10. Traumatic experience [incest, molestation, rape]
  11. Sex education or ignorance about sexuality
Positive influences:
  1. Security in the relationship, commitment, mutual caring
  2. Emotional closeness, meaningful communication, trust, affection
  3. Consideration, tenderness
  4. Feeling cherished and connected
  5. Favourable atmosphere, privacy, time, shared leisure, satisfying work
  6. Receptiveness for intimacy
  7. Responsive partner, guiding to enhance effective stimulation
  8. Good body image and self esteem
  9. Novelty, spontaneity, variations in lovemaking
  10. Good health, intact nervous and vascular systems
  11. Effective sensual and sexual stimulation
Negative influences:
  1. Depression, stress, lack of time, fatigue, guilt
  2. Conflict in the relationship
  3. Some medications and drugs,
  4. Disease, disability, pain, limitation of movement
  5. Alcohol, cigarette smoking
  6. Lack of love or physical attraction or desire for intimacy
  7. Inhibitions and lack of knowledge about sexuality
  8. Faulty attitudes to sexuality
  9. Poor communication
  10.  Lack of awareness of the need, or unwillingness to guide the partner
  11. Interruptions, lack of privacy, distractions
  12. Feelings of shame, embarrassment, inhibitions about sex
  13. Guilt about sexual experiences or behaviour
  14. Low sexual self esteem, poor body image
  15. Learned ability not to feel emotions

From the list of possible negative factors you may identify one or more factors that affect your or your partner’s sexual function.  It should be helpful in seeking advice from an appropriate therapist for your situation – for example if your problem is one of ill health or the use of medication- consult your doctor, if it is a relationship problem- seek counseling from a psychologist or social worker who does couple therapy, or a marital therapist, if stress is
your problem, look at lifestyle changes regarding work, diet and exercise, and if it applies, consider getting help to stop smoking or abusing alcohol.

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