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Summary
The Intention of Sex Therapy
Relationship Therapy
Relationship Exercises
Body Image and Self-Worth
Communication
Behaviour changes
SEX
THERAPY
RELATIONSHIP THERAPY
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One of the best things that life has to give is the deep intimacy and intense companionship of happy mutual love [1].
By the time a couple seeks help for a sexual problem the relationship has often been adversely affected and also needs attention. Conflict or hostility would make it difficult for the couple to do the sexual assignments. Relationship therapy is a fundamental part of sex therapy and requires the cooperation and commitment of both partners who care for one another and desire a better sex life together. .
When a couple has a problem with sexual function, once the type of dysfunction has been described, then it is important to explore what is happening ‘outside the bedroom’, as the health of the relationship would have a tremendous influence on their sexual function. In many instances when asked “Do you love him /her still” they answer “I don’t really know any more”. It is then helpful to look at the ‘basic ingredients’ of a loving relationship to determine their strengths and weaknesses, and then to be able to work on those factors that are weak in the relationship.
One can look at these factors as described in the diagram [1]- in the form of a ‘HOUSE’ where the foundations [self worth, body image] need to be firm, and the walls strong [trust, security, companionship, communication, 'space', shared leisure, satisfying work], so that when putting the roof- ‘sex’-on the top, it will hold well as an expression of the loving. But if there are more weaknesses than strengths, the whole house would collapse by putting the roof [‘sex’] on top, and those in it would get hurt!!
In many cases self worth and body image need a tremendous amount of attention, in others, shared leisure, and in some physical attraction may be a problem.
So it is helpful to ‘walk through your own house’ and check out your strengths and weaknesses and determine what factors need to be built on and what need to be put right.
Both of you need to be involved because if one partner won’t work at relationship, it is like being in a two seat canoe where one person is paddling and the other sits back – the canoe goes round and round in circles!!!
